Where do I stand?

letting go

2008-11-20T12:02:00.005+09:00

I happened to stumble upon a post this girls blog here

Vivian's blogspot

~~I give credit to her for making such a post~~, it really gave me a wake up call

(hHAHAHAHAHA, leong just corrected me that it wasn't made by her, Its from some forwarded email drifting off the net and I just recently received it, waht LOL!)

it really foots the bill.

I'll provide a full translation along with the original text.

the title goes as:

爱一人

I love someone

and this is what it contained:

如果你不爱一个人,
If you do not love a person,

请放手.
please let go.

好让别人有机会爱她.
so that other people would
have the opportunity to love
her.

如果你爱的人放弃了你,
If your love abandoned you,

请放开自己,
please let go,

好让自己有机会爱别人.
so that others can love thee.

有的东西你再喜欢也不会属于你的,
there are things you do not
want but stays with you,

有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的.
there are things you
cherish but you're doomed
to give up.

人生中有许多种.
there are many paths of life.

但别让自己为一种伤害.
but do not inflict pain upon
oneself.

有些缘分是注定要失去的,
some are fated to have a loss,

有些缘分是永远都不会有好结果的,
some are fated to never have
a happy ending,

爱一个人不一定要拥有,
love doesn't necessarily need
the person to be by their
side,

但拥有一个人就一定要好好的去爱她.
However, a person must be
dedicated in loving her.

男人哭了是因为他真的爱了.
A man cried because he
loved his beloved.

女人哭了是因为她真的放弃了.
A woman cried because she
had to let go.

如果真诚是一种伤害,
If the pain caused
is sincere,

我选择谎言;
I choose to lie;

如果谎言一种伤害,
If a lie causes pain,

我选择沉默;
I choose to remain silent;

如果沉默是一种伤害,
If silence is a type of
pain,

我选择离开.
I choose to leave.

如果失去是苦，
If the loss is too much
to bear,

你怕不怕付出?
Can you face what you
had done?

如果迷乱是苦，
If you're too confused,

你会不会选择结束,
You are not left with an
option,

如果追求是苦，
If it is hard to pursue,

你会不会选择执迷不悟 ,
You will not choose to be
stubborn,

如果分离是苦，
If the separation is hard,

你要向谁倾诉?
Who can you express to?

好多事情都是后来才看清楚,
Only later on many things
are cleared up,

好多事情当时一点也不觉得苦!!!!
At that time,realizing
that all was not bitter!

I sure hope my translation was enough to understand and I credit to whoever made this, its beautiful

Dai Ti replacement

2008-11-01T18:55:00.002+09:00

代替

放开你的手
不管等多久
失败是成功之母
我们不怕苦
找得到路

你教我的歌
你唱歌的声
将那人潮都暗哑
甜美而优雅
好牵挂

原来思念也有生命
有呼
吸
有你
扎根在我的心
像部分身体
再多的风雨
再多不允许
都不能阻挡我们在一起

原来思念也有意义
有爱与
勇气
我不在身边就让思念代替
代替我去爱你
去诃护你

放开你的手
送你到最后
你的泪在我胸口
不管等多久
无所求

生日快乐

陈智齐

....

2008-10-30T08:03:00.003+09:00

Regarding my previous post, its best to forget about it.

State of mind

2008-10-27T05:32:00.001+09:00

It's been a while since I ever touched this place.

It sure has quite a collection of dirt on it.

To cut things short, I'm actually still pissed at my parents' objections on my request for furthering my studies to Singapore.

I still haven't even found a good reason to forgive them.

I'm not even sure that I ever will.

Just recently I've been contacted by some other people for some uni offers.
They offered me a degree by under some sort group; okay the thing is the mentioning of an opportunity to further studies just really burns my ear off. Really it does, it really burns my heart even by the sight of it. I tried to reject politely the operator for the offer, but all I really wanted to say "Hey Mother Fucker, Fuck Off and don't ever contact me again". I'm just enraged by the remembrance of a chance for furthering my studies. To top things off, my mom tried to get in touch with me by saying "have you planned out your future?" That sentence alone pissed me off like hellfire. I replied her with my sharp tongue and heck I never cared if I hurt her feelings. I had to make it clear that it piss's me off. I already had planned out my future but thanks to dad who secretly applied my name to this uni that I'm currently in and what's more, he tied my name with a loan to this uni. I am never ever given a chance to lead my life, heck am I fucking in control of it? He cornered me with no fucking choice; this is outrage for all I care. Even though you would say my score is quite good since these couple of semesters, but it is all just because, I don't have a choice. I can't leave because I have a loan tied to my name and mom says don't leave to protect my fathers' name. Oh fucking hell, what the fuck can I do? I really dislike the state of my uni, it's supposed to have an international status quo but why the hell are they saying words in malay? It's stated in the contract, that all classes will be conducted in English and the question papers are in English. How do you expect me to compromise with that, and fuck that they're also cheating the international students they don't know a thing in malay.

I'm not sure if I want to continue this on, 'cause it's robbing me off of my sleep which I really need 'cause I'll be driving back to KL later.

I JUST GOT TO REPENT

2008-09-15T12:10:00.001+08:00

everyone else is trying to inprove their faiths

but

I'm still making deals withthe devil.

leave or stay?

2008-08-26T15:42:00.006+08:00

Its been really killing me when ever I bring this question to thought
The question that comes to my mind is that, I plan to migrate to another country, I haven't placed which country that I'll be going off to but, I'll migrate to another place, but there are always obstacles, some that keep on bugging me. I asked a couple of friends about migrating and what will happen to my Malaysian citizenship, one of them gave me a reply, Mr. Howard, that if I forfeit my Malaysian citizenship, I'll never ever have the chance to gain it back. I'm not so sure about this but the thought of not being able to return to Malaysia has really troubled me in giving me a final say in it. I'm sure some of you may think that I'm crazy but, I'm not.

The truth is, I no longer have the feeling of longing to go home, I've lost what it feels like to come back home, the warmth, the happiness, that happy gut feeling, I just live to live another day. I go to sleep every night, when I wake up in the morning, there's that emptiness that I feel everytime, eventhough I pray, it still feels the same, something is just missing, it won't go away.

my parents no longer understand me, or they never understood me at all, even when they still controled my choice in my Uni offers, it was just the last straw for me. I warned them that their decision has consumed me, changing me into the opposite person who I was. I used to strive for peace, now I'm man who thirsts for revenge, bloodshed. Why do I have to obey my father's pride, this is my fucking future if you ever cared. SO what , your telling me its a waste of time, what difference was it during your time and mine, you think times now are just the same as it was? How the hell should I know if I never experienced it, and one more thing, things now are different.

Now you can see whats been consuming my mind from thnking rationally, I'm just consumed by rage, the fury to take a life. A couple of years back, I already questioned myself, why am I doing all of this, I no longer know why am I doing the things that I do anymore, why do I rush to one place to another, like an endless marathon. I just live to see my maker eventually at the end of my life.

I have lost this resolve to continue life with this cause for greater good, but this fuming oppositon in me is making its way to take over my life, replacing my mind for world destruction, Just thinking of it makes me feel thats its a more greater cause, but seeing these young children after me, seeing how innocent they live their life, maybe I just wish I could protect it from being corrupted by the vast evil in the world, created by our own selves. Maybe something I'm turning into, the evil that I oppose, maybe I'm suppose to become a part of it.

If I migrate, I pretty sure know this that I must leave everything behind, everything that I known for these 11 years in Malaysia. I won't have the chance to see my parents, see them live their life through their retirement at ease, or even to see them rest peacefully for their afterlife. I won't get to see Pei Yue go to school, or even see her grow up. I won't even know what would happen to my own siblings. I wouldn't know if my elder brother and sister have started their own family and if my little sister can even stand on her own feet.

I just want to start a new slide of my life, somewhere new, somewhere I never knew, somewhere where nobody doesn't even know me and where I don't know anyone. To start white. Maybe so that I can straighten my mind, have everything maped out?

Wei Jiea, told me to think it twice.. Its a tough decision to make.

They say when people leave a pleace, they mean that their trying to find their answer in life..
the way I see it, maybe its just another excuse to run away, running away from something that they themselves maybe aren't sure of. Their very own answers were most probably right infront of them, at the very place where they ran from. Guess they were blinded from seeing it.

I myself am not sure what I'm trying to run away from, If I try to accept it, I'm not even sure what the heck it is, or even where to start.

For I am damaged. heart and soul.

lagophthalmos

2008-08-14T21:44:00.003+08:00

I always wondered why my eyes were dry and red, even though I've already applied some eye moisture products and had enough sleep...

the thing is that...

I SLEEP WITH MY EYES OPEN

We're going nuclear

2008-07-02T01:27:00.006+08:00

With the sky rocketing prices in oil, gas and any carbon based fuel that we human beings use for energy, as the title says, we are RE-initiating our nuclear program. Well heck, we won't last that long if we can't find an alternate source of energy at we don't have any options left. Heck, I don't even have to leave the country to get a job, this field of work does require my expertise..

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx

terrible price hike

you see, its really bad for my budget and I love to drive very fast
(this is just ALMOST my HALF tank)
eg: having an average speed of 120km/h on the highway
(so far so good, no ticket, thank god)

well this will solve everyone's problem, we should just
cycle!

more conveniently, this type can be folded like
in the pic above, good for taking it along with you
in MRT's, buses or etc.

and here's a demo on this folding bike

well there are more designs and different brands on this particular of bicycle but you're the user, so you should decide on what you want. But for my advice, if you're planning to get one and you're going to use it in the city limits, better get a mountain bike or the one I'm showing. A mountain bike is more suited because its more easier to handle and the tires are great on bumpy and rough roads( hence it was designed for rough cycling in the mountains ). Prices for bikes varies because of the types of frames and equipment (gears, shifters,etc) being used. Some range from rm500(these bikes are usually standard issues, where the frame is set at a specific size and the other parts are standard low-grade parts) while some can cost to rm15k-rm45k( usually these kind of bikes are the ones that bicycle enthusiasts use, because these kind of bikes are made from scratch to suite the user, for instance the frames are more durable and lighter usually aluminum/carbon and is different in size to go with the user's height while the gears and shifters are of high quality).

but unlike other countries, cycling in Malaysia is really risking it, I know, I'm experienced. Other countries have parks, lanes, even parking bays made for the public for bicycle users but in Malaysia, I don't see a thing.

Semester 2 result

2008-06-27T02:06:00.004+08:00

▒
Finally

I mushed up the courage to post my exam result it came out for sometime already, so here it is, my score this time was 3.36, bummer man, it went down a bit, we were cut short for that semester, we were given 14weeks to cram all the info we could. My math kinda gone down by a notch since my last term, it all because I studied the hard part of the chapter for just this one paper then what came out was the front part of the chapter, even the questions being asked were the one's if someone really memorized what the exact names of these symbols "α ß ΓπΣσµτΦΘΩδ∞φε∩≡±≥≤⌠⌡÷≈°∙·√ⁿ♣ " it seem unfair to me though, 'cause I only studied to work out equations until I get the answer not the name of the thing.

yang akan datang

2008-06-26T00:12:00.002+08:00

KAMEN RIDER : THE NEXT

http://www.maskedridernext.jp/

The new film is a direct sequel to MASKED RIDER THE FIRST (Kamen Raidaa Za Faasuto, 2005), featuring the return of Masked Riders 1 and 2, and the introduction of Masked Rider V3.

Just as MASKED RIDER THE FIRST was a loose re-telling of both Shotaro Ishinomori’s original manga and Toei’s MASKED RIDER (Kamen Raidaa, 1971) TV series, MASKED RIDER THE NEXT is set to re-tell the story behind Toei’s MASKED RIDER V3 (Kamen Raidaa Buisurii, 1973) TV series.

Actors Masaya Kikawada and Hassei Takano are returning from MASKED RIDER THE FIRST as Takeshi Hongo (Masked Rider 1) and Hayato Ichimonji (Masked Rider 2) respectively, while Kazuki Katou steps into the role of Shiro Kazami (Masked Rider V3). 22-year-old Katou previously appeared in the MASKED RIDER KABUTO (Kamen Raidaa Kabuto, 2006) TV series as Daisuke Kazama, the alter-ego of Masked Rider Drake, as well as the series’ accompanying theatrical film MASKED RIDER KABUTO: GOD SPEED LOVE (Kamen Raidaa Kabuto Goddo Supiido Rabu, 2006).

2 years after the events of MASKED RIDER THE FIRST, rumours are spreading of vicious murders, which are always accompanied by the song of a young pop idol named Chiharu. After Chiharu disappears, her older brother Shiro Kazami goes in search for her, and inevitably finds himself in the hands of the organization “Shocker”. It is here, where a new generation of Riders are being created, that Shiro Kazami is transformed into Masked Rider V3.

I got the chance too watch this movie, been waiting for sometime for an english subbed version of it to be circulated around

Spring

2008-06-23T13:39:00.003+08:00

Had one of these weird dreams a while ago

I was here with my colleagues( which seem like them, not sure I even haven't started a job yet)

we were fighting over some issues

weird ones to be exact

we were fighting over the four seasons for some campaign I think

it started because they named the wrong season for the actual one and they were missing one

I said " Summer, we're , missing one here, autumn and winter".

I tried to day the one that we were missing but teh word that came out of my mouth was "Spargo"?? what the heck is that?

I could not remember what exactly was it then I went around asking everyone the correct word

but ended up telling them " nah that's wrong ,it doesn't sound right".

when I woke up, I checked my surroundings (the things that were in front of my eyes)

I rethought my dream and it took me one hell of a second to say out "it was SPRING".

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

had a small talk with Mrs Tan the other day
I asked about a few things here and there
funny thing is that when I said "oh.. not that"
she said back " not that"
clearly she is making fun of me, damn.
when she left I blurted out her first daughter's name
she didn't hear me
but it was unethical at the time
it seem that I really meant to ask about her first daughter
but I couldn't, don't know why.

A segment of my dream had her first daughter in it
I was with a crowd during some event
I was in the front rows, not sure what was it about,
the mc said it was about a selection of people to be representing something
it felt more like a we were being detained just like illegal immigrants (lol)
people were being smacked on their heads which seem to be stickers bearing some kind of embedded registry numbers, I know cause I also got smack on the head too with being greeted "congratulations you've been chosen to represent..."
I ran my fingers over the sticker, felt the embedded coding there
I turned behind to the person behind me, she said "you're chosen too?",
I replied "yeah, hey let me see that". the sticker was orange in color , I could see that the coding was similar to a numbering model of a machine, "XMS-34????" can't remember much detail now. I turned back to the front, I could see a car with a bunch of people coming out and heading towards us, seem in a hurry to get in with us. But only one person stayed in the car, not sure why. Then it started to rain, all of us stayed on until the event was over, during that I could sense that person was her, I really felt that I should get up and head to the car and accompany her, she was there all alone, waiting.. but I didn't get up, damn I don't know why but I said something to myself, " this is as far as you can get?" heck the car was clearly 2 meteres infront of me yet I didn't do a thing. then crowd started to move, seem that the event ended
she suddenly made a move and went out of the car ran to us
she ran right pass me, I could'nt keep my eyes off of her
I could see how see how soft she ran, all dreamy like a fairy, AH BE DEN, it was a dream
then I felt that I was afloat and flew away..

WHat gives???

the world isn't that bad, yet.

2008-06-16T23:05:00.003+08:00

Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwoole

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
Some day I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemondrops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why can't I?

hobby

2008-05-09T03:20:00.003+08:00

doesn't it look great?

the only thing I'm worried about is getting an authentic license for it.

and taking care of it.

precognition premonition

2008-04-22T09:45:00.003+08:00

its been some time since I blogged anything, my hectic life, being hiatus most if the time.

its just that, the night before, I had some dream where I met people that I have never seen before and mostly the dream was consisted of people or friends that I have not seen for a long time.

usually when I dream something like this, things happen. I'm not sure what, but something will happen.

I always get dreams or nightmares of the future quiet frequently and when I decipher them, figure them out, they come true. That was some time ago but they have been diminishing until now.

there was one time, 1 week before my spm results were out, I dream t' of my spm results, the dream gave me the exact same results as the one I received the day of the results.

probably its just in my mind, I'm crazy maybe. Maybe its just a side effect of what my personality is?

I like playing guess, as in when I haven't met this person, i hear their voice and imagine what he/she actually looks like, sometimes I always get them right, guessing whats behind door no.1 and so.

back then when I was in my early teens, I really believed in telepathy, telekinesis or psychic powers. at a time I believed I had it, I had psychic powers, ya ya ya, you think I'm crazy am I. Anyway, I went on, see what I could do, explore and master it, if it was possible at the time. Now I just forgotten all about this stuff, not sure I f I still have it.

I remember one time when I got rejected by this girl in high school, it was during form3, well a nerd being rejected, you may know what will happen, what he'll probably do, bu I just had this something where I can predict where she is, well is more like I felt that she's approaching to school and all but I brushed it off asap,'cause she rejected me and I'm tried to get over her, basically I learned to hate her.

another part was when, I think it was the same year when I was in form 3, there was this day that my ears was burning, as in hot, red, emitting heat. It was unusual as it never happen before and I knew it wasn't normal to happen, I felt that was someone or a bunch of people were talking behind my back, so I charged around the whole school, through each class and I found bunch of girls gossiping, I looked at one of them and I could see that was trying to know if I knew what she was talking about. I letf but the burning didn't stop so I went back and they were still gossiping, this time I really got them. I left again, and they stopped gossiping as well as the burning sensation.

clearly around my senior year, I was getting to know this girl, well as you would say it she was invisible? we see each other everyday, every year, but I never took the trouble to talk to her, one time she was surprised when I called her by her name, it seem that she thought I never knew hers. I remember her high school appearance, she wore glasses, an intelligent woman, a bookworm, she was shy, but talkative to people she knew, liked martial arts, she'd had her hair short but in our senior year she started to keep it long, it was kind of appealing to me. I remember one time that she cut her hair really short, horrendous but I didn't dare to tell her, I just stared in shock.

ok my point here is that, as time grew, I felt some affinity with her, i could know that she staring or looking at me, I knew she was somewhere nearby and so. Until this day, I still can feel it, this feeling. one time last year I was waiting in my old high-school for some unsettled affairs, as I was waiting, I felt a very strong something, it was more like two round objects piercing my back through my chest, it gave my heart a sensation, it beated very fast. it was as if someone was watching me, i had this feeling that it was her. but I could be proven wrong.

may be its just in my head

oh ya, a black crow just appeared on the window in front of me, maybe something is going to happen.

maybe I'm just plain crazy.

...

2008-03-22T01:28:00.001+09:00

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

the time I slept

2008-03-21T08:33:00.002+09:00

I slept from 1:00pm yesterday until 5:20am this morning

how long is that actually?

I do usually wake everyday around that time but the time I went to sleep seems odd, you think?

I did wake up around 10:00pm but just for a while, 2 minutes?, then I went back to sleep. WTH I've been asleep for more than 12 hours?!!?!!

the previous day before yesterday(Wednesday), I didn't sleep a wink that night so maybe it would explain some shit.

Back in jb for a while for now

been searching for this song for while, but got it already.

Zhou Da Xia

a truth untold

2008-03-05T16:31:00.002+09:00

this is a review of mine from a Malaysian Studies class I had earlier this time around, Heck, its in a quiz that I'm gonna have to take which is 10% of my overall and I really liked this documentary, so here goes;

the main site:

http://10tahun.blogspot.com/

its about:
10 Tahun Sebelum Merdeka
sebuah filem dokumentari oleh Fahmi Reza

20 Oktober 1947 merupakan hari bersejarah dalam perjuangan berperlembagaan rakyat Malaya menuntut kemerdekaan dari penjajah British. Filem dokumentari pendek ini menceritakan pengalaman yang dilalui oleh 5 individu yang turut serta dalam perjuangan politik kiri untuk membentuk sebuah gerakan kemerdekaan rakyat di Malaya, sepuluh tahun sebelum merdeka.

this documentation contains actual interviews of a now disbanded politic party that the govt at that time, took various actions to make sure the propaganda they tried to upbring for the country, were broken.

here, feast your eyes:

1st part

2nd part

3rd part

4th and final part

politics

2008-03-05T15:57:00.002+09:00

well now I'm currently in jb, be around for a few days then off back to the crack in he world. The first thing ever that I did when I came back was I cooked, Yea I cooked.Blah blah, like you can't, so it ain't something fancy to squirm about.

Okay, the point I'm trying to say is;

honestly I wouldn't dare say this as it would be something kinda opposing to my current govt. and the employers of parents...

if you were someone like me, highly educated, having a good sense of politics or blah blah, you could easily see how bad/corrupted the system that is currently governing us.

i'm not saying is that you should be a politic-pro supporter, is that you should at least see the views of each parties, compare each with equal attention, and decide for yourself what kind of govt that you want for yourself, your family, your possible future.

I know you readers would think traditionally that I'd join this certain politic party, but I think that I wouldn't, I myself loathe its slogan.

hey, don't give me that hateful remark, its my beliefs that wouldn't agree with their way of handling stuff, couldn't you see why the founder himself decided to leave that party? his reasons, are kinda mine the same.

honestly there is this certain politic party that existed during the days before kemerdekaan, and if it were still around. I'd POSSIBLY join. yEAh.

just something I had to do

2008-03-04T07:24:00.002+09:00

gosh I'm ashamed of my self, I can't even talk/utter my English
like I used to..

its just that nobody here would ever want to talk in english, its either hokkien, malay or something broken, if i'm tensed/in a tiff, I will never talk politely in malay, i'll just lavish out my apek-malay slang talking like some pissed ah beng.

aku, kau, kepala buntut, Nyama ci***, puk*m**, lan*** ma ***, ji*** and etc

how polite am I, wow

There's this saying that the first language that you ever learnt will be your mother tongue(I 'm not sure If I spelled that right). Now my english if a far cry from what i'm used to like, i'd say my level that was you'd be speaking to foreigner with an american accent from the 90's.

Its like a sin when ever I try to talk in english, they look at you as if they have a score to settle with you.=.=\\\\\

well there's definitely a lot for me to say since i've finally, somehow managed to find some mojo to blog. I'll be random until there's a steaky post to put up here, guess its probably i'm getting my mid-term hollidays, its hectic and the hair-loss problem, my life is a raft cage for now, finding some solution to iron it out, 'till then.

DEPRESSION 101

2008-02-16T23:28:00.000+09:00

http://www.yunnamhaircare.com/hairpro.html

time is up

2008-01-07T22:26:00.000+09:00

its that god damn time again

to me
my life is like this

my love life is more similar to this

sometimes, this comes up in my mind

so what, I got hairy arms

there are times where I wished it could stop
rollback
do this and that
but
nah, fat chance
would it be so different if I did it anyway?

being possessive is bad
not even letting go, ain't doing good to your health
someone quoted this
"if you love the person, let go"
to me
in my heart
its telling me
to HELL WITH THAT
those dark arts that I learnt and know, is really giving me second thoughts

but I really have to agree to this

yup A+ equation

疼

its killing me

I just can't take it anymore

result

2007-12-28T23:01:00.000+09:00

click picture to enlarge

finally my result arrived

my cgpa is 3.4 , ouch man

HIATUS

2007-12-14T04:27:00.000+09:00

You Are 80% A Child of the 90s

Wassup!?! You remember the 90s like they were yesterday.
And you're ready to open up a can of whoop-ass on any other decade.

Are You a Child of an 90s?

damn i miss those times

crytal pepsi

fresh prince of bel air and saved by the bell

and all those crazy things during the 90s

other than that

I'm not sure If I am ok yet

met her online

and she still gives me those "butterflies in my stomach feeling"

damn how strong

not sure what will happen if I'll meet her in person. GEEEzerzz.

if your the woman that i'm mentioning. i'm not sure what will happen.

facebook

2007-11-28T23:21:00.000+09:00

finally

I brought myself to make a facebook account

yea yea

it ain't something new

I really dunno how to use it

friend no1 said its "FUU-YOh!!! nice, gerek sial!!"

and friend no2 said " it sucks"

and I go with friend no2

the first time I used the thing, I clicky clicky here and there

duno what I'm doing

got too many features

I went from " oh like this, ok then"

to

"oh shit! wtf? why I put her there? wth did I just sent her?"

and the rest is history, despite that, I went and poked and kissed people randomly, iduncarelah.
saw one of my friends acc, she's older than me btw, but to my horror she posted a pic of her that I wouldn't see her in public in it. To cut the cahse, WTH WARAGHGHGGGHHHHHHH!!! crap larh I can't get that damn picture out of my head, I know she's a part time model but, I dont know lah.. a normal man would probably be aroused, but to me, ITS DAMN RIGHT WRONG, I know the person, it justs, it just feels wrong I tell you.wrong.

one more thing

I saw the profile of the woman that I am trying to get over with

its funny

when realized I have forgotten her but just when I see her, even just her name, I'm just proven wrong, right on the spot.

my iris enlarged, I get this funny warm feeling starting from my belly, shoots towards my torso and up into my head. My heart elevated, an adrenaline rush. I felt HAPPY. I felt GLAD.

but in a split second I thought back. She won't love you, not a chance. I keep telling myself that, but to no avail, it doesn't kicks in.

even there were many profiles with the same name, I clicked this one and I knew it was her.

when I'm just passing by a particular place, someone told me she was there a while ago and I just missed her, I had a gut feeling that she was nearby. I don't know why I feel it. Why do I even feel her presence.

I've restrained myself from contacting her, from trying to know how she is, how is her health, is she doing ok? is her boyfriend treating her well? can she face her studies well or not? Even sending a birthday message and showing my concern for her, I'm taken aback, and when she wishes me a happy birthday, I quickly give her a taste of my acid tounge. It pains me because, after all I could possibly be hurting her feelings

I guess the way I am trying to get over her, is not even a good method, severing ties, making her hate me so that I can't have, be near her.. its going to take a toll on me, a big one I think.

I know her friends, they know me, I know her siblings and her siblings know me, I know her mother and she knows who am I. But I don't know her father, didn't get the chance to talk to the man just a few bump ins but that wouldn't make it, but guessing this, her father probably knows me as well.

when you remember something, your brain responds by turning it into your memory. You'll remember it if you;

frequently remembering it
doing things that keeps you reminded of such a thing
make a memento or a keepsake to remember
think about it
and etc.

we humans can remember a lot of things but why don't we remember them? is it because, we never make ourselves to be even reminded about this particular detail, this particular memory?

that is the key

I am quickly reminded about this

a quote from the magazine"to grow up is to forget"

I can't see a picture of her, just because I will miss her

I can't see her name, because I will think of her

I can't hear her voice, because I'll be reminded of her

I can't know how she feels, because my heart will be torn.

because I cherish her

I hate facebook.

tacky

2007-11-28T23:06:00.000+09:00

haih..

havin a or maybe a headache from teaching my mom on how to use the computer.

last time the com was equipped with microsoft office 2003™, she normally did her work using it.

but she had "trouble" using the features to get her work done. She'd always ask me ; "macam mana nak guna ini?" "apa ni?!!! tak boleh ke bawah? mak dah tekan beberapa kali dah" "eh, DAH HILANG KERJA MAK?".. and so on lah

now I upgrade it to microsoft office 2007™ because I needed to do my assignments and it had a lot more features and an easier layout, so, you know the drill.

but now she can get the hang of it

but she always forget to check her pendrive for viruses... 妈妈, 我爱你 . . .(=_=\\

I feel good

2007-11-28T15:53:00.000+09:00

today I did something that I never did for a long time

all I did was

I sat in the rain

I enjoyed it

the cool breeze

the rain

the wet grass

I lied down on the wet ground

inhaled the fresh air

the natural feeling of everything

well I was barefoot not naked

it felt really good

its been a long time since I felt something good about myself.

but to contrast from all of that

my dad's relative passed away today

he lives nearby my area.

jln mohd amin there

going to visit anyway.

turning 18 is a sign i'll be wearing black throughout the year. Going to have to expect a lot more of something like this to happen in near future.

what a good day

2007-11-27T22:09:00.000+09:00

well today I went out and I met my brothers of 6rsn1 at plaza pelangi, to get some mathematics T notes.(well I've been asking a lot of people and I got no replies, sad). Met up Long Shing, Yi Xiang and Shi Jie at McD, chat for a while only didn't have much time ' cause they had PA tuition later on. Anyway, I gila and follow and walk them up to omega and into their class. Anyway, if anyone of you were there and didn't notice, I was wearing an orange collar shirt with funky designs+some chinese characters that I can't make out and jeans. Well I hurried back as I realized that I was no longer needed there, well could have stayed and said hello to En. Amran, but nah. Anyway on my way out to from pelangi the machine kept on rejecting my ticket.. the machine got problem inside and on my way back.. took a lot of wrong turns.. haven't been to that area for a long time.. so blame myself larh. I also sped a red light, couldn't help it, I had my eye on the road not the traffic light.. I just noticed that t it was red only when I passed the something what you call it the line where you stop when the light goes red. Couldn't stop in time...

AND my neighbor got robbed, I don't how many times edi, but this is the worst leh

as you can see from the pictures, there are signs of using equipment to break in. This isn't any ordinary crack head that broke in, these are the work of pros.

its was kinda all to coincided, my neighbor had a lot of new things in their possession such jewelry, computer's, passports and etc. The husband was away at SG at the time, it seemed that it was all planned, not just any random robbing spree. The wife broke down into tears when she arrived at the scene, haih.. but her relatives were there to see what happened and console her at the time. Stayed to give a statement of the robbery but didn't help much, the only info that was at my hands were that the vehicle of the robbers was a dark suv, most probably a kembara, its color was dark green/black and there were two of them, they appeared to look like malay in appearance. Well the police sure did a quick job, saw one of them holding a brief case full with forensic items.

well its really hard to say

a quite neighbourhood = safe , I don't think so.

its not that quite, can hear crickets everyday, mostly at night.

Depression

2007-11-26T05:52:00.000+09:00

沮丧的

我不能帮助否认我的问题
我需要让去
但是。。
它似乎是我不想要到
它使我痛苦
每天
它正在拆开我的思想和灵魂
没有任何的机会补缀在
当他们是无法解决的时候，
我真的憎恨事物
我应该没有停止为那些叁加 f 6 持续几天
我感觉像我逃离她
我认识她将会拒绝我,甚至在她真的做之前
因为我认识我不会被她的身边是不再，
所以那时我想要她拒绝我
我没有期待像这一样的一个结果
我仍然与她相恋?
因为你知道, 当一个人喜欢另外的一个人的时候
如此的感觉能容易地拒绝当不想要的
但是。。
她偷了我的心
因为这我仅仅被悲伤
当曾经我见到一张她的照片的时候。。
我将试着得到它
当我了解的时候我做了什么
我见到。。
一个她的收集
她的微笑。。
她的眼睛。。

我正在做的
不很好

当人告诉我她不和某人在一起的时候，我憎恨它
当她告诉我直线她和某人在一起的时候。

她所说的话在我的思想中接替
"I'm with someone else, so its not possible between us"
但是她的声音声音正在时尚。

她的我有的较多照片的堆..
我了解。。
我将会仍然做一件如此的事物直到她的死亡时候吗?
收集照片, 使～相等她有她自己的家庭关心?
一个家庭, 我是不部份。

我需要停止

我一定停止这。。

我必须住接受这

我必须继续

我必须面对她
因为她是我的恐惧

what I fear could be
is that i'm afraid to lose her
but I already lost her
so what is there to hold onto?

Satu-satunya cara yang aku dapat
melepaskannya adalah dengan membenci akan dia
tetapi masalahnya
tiada kebencian dalam diriku terhadapnya
tetapi selama ini, aku hanya membuat dia membenci diri aku aje
adakah ini sahaja cara yang berkesan?
memutuskan terus pertalian dengan dia?
mungkin, tapi bukan yang terbaik.
aku tak mahu menyakiti dia.
kan senang kalau aku langsung terus tak jumpa dia dalam hidup aku?
tapi tanpa kehadiran dia,
mungkin dah lama aku melepaskan daya untuk membina masa hadapan aku.

aku tak tahu apa yang aku mesti lakukan.

all I know I must move on.

danga bay

2007-11-23T11:43:00.000+09:00

danga bay at night

@18

2007-11-14T22:43:00.000+09:00

on the 2nd of November 2007, at the time 3:13pm

I have turned 18 years old

well its long pass my birthday, and I didn't have the time to mention it

I thank everyone for conveying their wishes to me

I myself wasn't even aware that it was my own birthday..

could it been because i'd stop celebrating it? the last time I celebrated was.. 6 years ago? back in primary6? vauge, my memory that is. Side effects of becoming old. an old man, yea.. a lonely grumpy old man.. the hell with it. I don't have that much time left to live anyway. My birthday, just became another day, passing in my life, how sad.

it is amazing that I am already 18, but I am still alive. My heart is still kicking, it hasn't gave up on me.

anyway

I thank the people who wished me a happy birthday:

my bimbo sister
my brother
my mom
amira(wow! you knew, wth?!)
KimLeong(I wan my free lunch, lol)
WeiJiea(wah so short..)
JiaHao(wah? you also know?)
LekWen(didn't expect it getting it from you)
JiaChang(same thing with LekWen)
JinChiat(no need to welcome me to the adult world, people have already been treating me like one before Iwas even 18..)
ZhiQi(surprised anyway, but really had a hard time processing the mixed feeling I had at the time, probably your first and last? was cramming for finals anyway.)

and to eveyone else that didn't wish me,

so what, you guys didn't even know when I was born, so nothing at fault here

you can still wish me in the possible futures that'll come

well I have a short life, so its better to live it as the best that I can.

oh and during the time before this post, there were other bitrthdays that occured:

ZhiQi's
JiaChang's
ChaoTian's
MY OWN DAD's

ok, I can't remember at the moment but please forgive me if I can't, I will try to remember, I am a man of my word.

and Upcoming is my own MOM's b-day, so gotta get something, bye.

biology

2007-11-14T22:13:00.000+09:00

as an ex-pure science student

I will admit this

I MISS BIOLOGY

well I do love maths but somehow, there isn't something similiar like bio

what goes in and out of my blood vessels

what can influnece the effectiveness of my neurons

and bla bla.

especially what I'm learning here are just stuff relevent to the law of physics

P=I^2R

P=V^2/R

mechanics

its get really damn boring..

how could this happen?

a creative student turned into a technical student overnight?

I can't possibly figure out how my dominant brain influence suddenly changed sides.

I was originaly, a right-brained influence person, now my left brain is more dominant.

well thats it, I'm not sure what to do about this, I can't fret like a baby,

what has been done cannot be undone

so say this to myself "STICK UP WITH IT, BICtHASS".

yea, i'm stubborn, really.

SHRINK, I really need to go to one.

2007-11-09T22:22:00.000+09:00

ouch and I really need to sort my brain out after reading this.. guess I need to retake my steps for my future..

how tragic

2007-11-01T18:22:00.000+09:00

new flavor

but

~~RM0.50~~=RM0.60

your hapiness comes first

2007-10-23T10:39:00.000+08:00

this post was origionally meant for the 1st of November 2007

I convey these thoughts of mine
to this woman
I am sorry that I am being really shelfish to you
but I can't seem to accept you
as a
friend
any more
because I love you
too much
and
I can't seem to let you go..

I can't seem to find a reason to hate

nor can I forget thee

if i see you

hear you

touch you

it'll only increase my hunger

of missing you

desiring you

I can never

have thee

for my keeping

these past few years

I denied what my feelings really meant

uncertain

from what was my hardened heart

desiring for

only when that short gap of time

of your absence in my life

I worry about you

think about you

I missed you

I began to see

my desire for thee

I was uncertain

why I began to be drawn

towards thee

was it because

time was running out

on me?

I feel angry at myself

for not doing so

earlier in the years

where I had the chance

to see thee

everyday

but

there is no use

time that is gone

can never return

neither can I now

I have the path

where I will never

see the daylight

of your eyes

never to see

never to hear

never to feel

such

emotions

expressions

feellings

that fill thee with life

I wish to see thee

ageing beside

me

together

living this life

my love for thee is blind

nor can I make it appear to your heart

cintaku hanya bertepuk sebelah bahu sahaja

ku tak dapat lepaskan dikau

ku mesti lenyap dari hidupmu

ku tidak rela

现在@生活...

2007-10-23T10:15:00.000+08:00

乱七八糟的桌子

该记录日期通道尽快，越接近年底，越爽

好运魅力

the darkness ahead of me

2007-10-16T07:40:00.000+08:00

as I grow older

I

become more, and more darker

as in character

or is it that I have become too mature at my age

i'm 17 going to turn 18 soon

but I don't even act my age

i'm seen as someone 3X more older than me

if I lie that i'm 25, I possibly could get away with it

influence of SEX, DRUGS, DUST, POWER, WOMEN, SATAN, ETC.

and my rage is kinda getting out of hand

like the saying

"orang muda berdarah panas"

hot-blood

I am trying my best to control myself

certain things that I do

is really destroying my life

I guess this part doesn't make sense

I do know that I do have bugis bloodline, which is a pirate clan, for example the pirates of the caribbean,

and they are also known for their savageness

i'm not sure it has anything to do with my rising temper

could be but not full-proof

what's more, just recently found out that my grandfather and his siblings..

really did practice certain pirate magic

but i'm not sure what medium they used

I remember being told it was locked in chest somewhere.

It was used for invulnerability/"kebal" or something else

I remember one of my relatives being in crash and survived without a scratch

but when it came for his time to go

he couldn't pass away at ease

the counter back of practicing certain magic

you need a successor to pass it onto..

perhaps i'm cursed by that magic.

the thing will might find me as a host.

lol

well the savior at hand is myself, my faith and my religion.

my ears are bleeding.

2007-09-27T21:52:00.000+08:00

in contrast of the marks of my french paper from above
a couple of days ago, I was cleaning my ears and what do you know, blood is gushing out.
yea.

blood.

kinda hurts a bit for now, especially my right ear.

asked some friends what could be wrong

they simply replied got kutu anjing, I kena brain cancer, wtf

ok

i'll go see a doctor

asap.

EAT SHIT

2007-09-25T11:16:00.000+08:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

charm

2007-09-22T23:07:00.000+08:00

damn it

really

my charm kinda works in the wrong places

the women that I attract...

is twice my age

i'm 17

and she's..

22..

damn...

the last relationship I was in, was indeed kinda horrible.

the woman herself was cheating on her man, she complained that she no longer feels the love from him, whining that he's 2 busy and stuff...

and wtf hell, she was 25 and i was 16 at that time. settled?

if this shit keeps on going.. i'm bound to snatch someone's wife...

i don't know what to say.

my name, AH MENG part II

2007-09-10T14:39:00.000+08:00

haih..so now I am no longer in Jb, now back in Bangi. Came back here around saturday morning

well I didn't blog while my time in jb, so i'm going to blog about it, not much though

31st AUG 12:00am

finally reached back jb

so I decided to sms to all of contacts, a merdeka message, not sure was worth it, my credit got spent, anyway I accidently got to know someone because I punched in the wrong number, funny thing that she asked me straight if I was a policeman..hmm something wasn't right was going on. Well I'd just say that, we keep in touch.

31st aug

I woke up, in the morning

went cycling, yea really boring thing to do, but just felt like it.

damn, the bike itself was pretty, rusted.

took the liberty to check the neighbourhood

well nothing much changed except there this new thing being made, not sure if its public or not, because its in the istana's property

construction

continued on cycling around until dataran jbsaw the march and all, dun have picks of cause, accidently didn't save it haih.was spotted by En. Adnan though, he brought his wife and kids along . Didn't get to catch up with him as it was kinda crowded there. the march was from the dataran jb, seta and ec.

some inhabitants of the istana

the place where I lived, if anyone can find it.

road kills

1st sept

nothing much done on that day, thought of going to tkd but I had a charity sale at 9am. I asked most of anyone whom I thought lived nearby, to come and give their support but, nobody did. typical, typical.

well only my neighbour came.

thank you Charlotte.

anyway, had to accompany dad to some weddings, in place of my mom, she had this business seminar, cosmetics is the venture.

2nd sept

nothing done here, went out and got groceries

and finally got this collection

....

3rd sept

went for a haircut, bla bla,

took my sister out, it was raining and I almost got into an accident. I don't know what was I feeling or thinking. nonsense, benda yang tak masuk akal, that is what I am talking here. Well the 'cause of my vehicle swindling on the road was that it was drizzling and the road there was on a big puddle, so there was no friction and I lost control. What? if you know how I drive, that would happen, i'm always driving at a constant speed of 80km/h. and yes I was driving the orange vw.

any way, caught this movie at cs

秘密

really nice story to it, one of my college buddies said the hero was kinda too perfect, except he rode a bycicle.

got student discount rm6 each for ticket

anyway got the 不能说的秘密 OST of it edi, love the secret score, sounds great.

funny thing is that, mostly everyone thought me and my sis were a couple...wth. They weren't even convinced when we told thm the truth. WTH.

yea wth.

4th sept

nothing much either, doing some of my assignments, my sister went back to Kuantan. She was on a short leave though. couldn't help it.

5th and 6th sept

I collected the courage to go visit ssi

seemed f6 still was sien

caught up with most of everyone there, some were gone as in dissapeared from f6, some new kids, and mostly were scatterd around the school. tang, still looked the same, same as 2 years ago, arvindran and ariffin are in the pengawas edi, cui shan replaced her sister being a prefect, now it looks like hui shan, only with longer hair. lol. Met up with the happy-go-lucky 6RS1, caught up with most of everyone there. and alot more.

really doesn't make any sense at all.

7th sept

none to say

8th sept

did my final errands in jb

pack up and etc.

went to tang's house at night to get PA notes, and yes I too am taking the general paper.

took quite a while to find his house, 'cause it was at night, but I have been to his house before

spent some hours talking crap

on my way back, SESAT. Well i'm not familiar with the area, especially at night. myself to blame.

almost ran into a tree/bush.

and

wth is with ah meng?

thats my name at college. long story.

my name, AH MENG.

2007-09-04T08:28:00.000+08:00

i'm back in jb

to be honest, i never felt that i left this place.

i actually feel more peaceful here.

I can wake at 4am on my own, meditate, finish my work on time and bla bla bla...

the only thing that my legs were itching for was

cycling this

dun mind the pic, most of the parts are already rusted...

and

driving

but honestly I would say, cycling in the rain is much better than driving in the rain.

######@#$@#^#@!$@#

2007-08-28T21:48:00.000+08:00

TOO SIEN TO ACTUALLY UPDATE ANYTHING

OR SAY ANYTHING

JUST WANTED TO SAY A PIECE OF MY MIND

NARUTO IS THE 4TH HOKAGE'S SON!!!!!!!

WTF!!!

THE END.

The Phoenix and the Turtle

2007-08-20T13:16:00.000+08:00

Let the bird of loudest lay,

On the sole Arabian tree,

Herald sad and trumpet be,

To whose sound chaste wings obey.

But thou, shrieking harbinger,

Foul pre-currer of the fiend,

Augur of the fever's end,

To this troop come thou not near.

From this session interdict

Every fowl of tyrant wing,

Save the eagle, feather'd king:

Keep the obsequy so strict.

Let the priest in surplice white,

That defunctive music can,

Be the death-divining swan,

Lest the requiem lack his right.

And thou, treble-dated crow,

That thy sable gender mak'st

With the breath thou giv'st and tak'st,

'Mongst our mourners shalt thou go.

Here the anthem doth commence:

Love and constancy is dead;

Phoenix and the turtle fled

In a mutual flame from hence.

So they lov'd, as love in twain

Had the essence but in one;

Two distincts, division none:

Number there in love was slain.

Hearts remote, yet not asunder;

Distance, and no space was seen

'Twixt the turtle and his queen;

But in them it were a wonder.

So between them love did shine,

That the turtle saw his right

Flaming in the phoenix' sight:

Either was the other's mine.

Property was thus appall'd,

That the self was not the same;

Single nature's double name

Neither two nor one was call'd.

Reason, in itself confounded,

Saw division grow together;

To themselves yet either-neither,

Simple were so well compounded

That it cried how true a twain

Seemeth this concordant one!

Love hath reason, reason none

If what parts can so remain.

Whereupon it made this threne

To the phoenix and the dove,

Co-supreme and stars of love;

As chorus to their tragic scene.

THRENOS.

Beauty, truth, and rarity.

Grace in all simplicity,

Here enclos'd in cinders lie.

Death is now the phoenix' nest;

And the turtle's loyal breast

To eternity doth rest,

Leaving no posterity:--

'Twas not their infirmity,

It was married chastity.

Truth may seem, but cannot be:

Beauty brag, but 'tis not she;

Truth and beauty buried be.

To this urn let those repair

That are either true or fair;

For these dead birds sigh a prayer.

by William Shakespeare.

part-time job

2007-08-20T12:54:00.000+08:00

the only part-time job that I got over here is

a drug dealer.

no I am not kidding.

it is lucrative but, I got nothing more to say.

and to Paramesium, that tag will have to wait.

really hectic this week, I have english week and a couple of exams, so will soon update on it.

Being a club president over here is not as easy back in ssi. Other than that I am also head leader of my dorm room and my asssignment groups. next semester will be rally month, guess who's gonna have to participate? FIGURE.

I only have leave after the 30th, but even for that, I can't go back.

Sometimes I feel that I don't want to return back. There's a feeling in my chest that I can't get rid of if I return or just anywhere.

Its a feeling that don't wish to feel, because I don't have such right to have it.

Affection for someone that is out of my reach is indeed a pain.

Feel like befalling my self a terrible accident and losing my memory for good, well even that happens.. will that painful feeing in my chest dissapear?

living life is kinda a pain, but there no such thing a life without pain, right?

relations between one another is just for our own shelfish gain. That is true. We make people happy and hurt them too.

Rolling out.

terkandas

2007-08-06T21:50:00.000+08:00

haih

really.

Last sunday I went to pc-fair, bumped into jeff and other things. Anyway, experience is really tyring, first time trying out the komuter, I got onto the wrong train. Was suppose to head back to the UKM station, but instead I was heading to the opposite direction. Only realized that I was on the wrong train when I analyzed the train chart in detail. It was a sunday night and when I reached back.. it was very late.. anyway, had a french pop quiz the following day, automation class got cancelled because of an error in communication between the lecturer and the class rep, typical.

I got SOME GOOD AND BAd NEWS, which are, I have successfully becomed the president of the taekwondo club in this college, with ease, without any bloody fists or anything. Got the post because everyone else didn't want the post and shoved it to me.... very typical.Its more like, anyone didn't even want a damn post, but with some talk with the instructor, everyone got a post, just to give everyone a feeling of responsibility. Previous seniors mentioned that this club was a killer club, from 130 students that joined in, by the end of the first semester, 5 remained... indeed very typical.

Lately, been starting to space out alot, again, not even sure what is the cause of it, can't seem to find a solution to it right now. Could it be that I'm high? did I overdose the medication i'm taking? been diagnosed with bronchitis for last few weeks, not even sure if I still have it now.

well gotta go, gotta finish assignments.

Au revoir, Je te manque.

heh.. the window had a bullet crack

random

2007-07-29T02:28:00.000+08:00

fine with me

You Are 73% Creative

You are beyond creative. You are a true artist - even if it's not in the conventional sense of the word.
You love creating for its own sake, and you find yourself quite inspired at times.

How Creative Are You?

OUCH!! I DO NEED HELP...

Your Life is 70% Off Track

If you're honest with yourself, you have to admit that you often feel like you're living the wrong life.
It's a pretty easy conclusion to come to - because it seems like not a lot is going right.
Consider finding a life coach or mentor. You need some encouragement in turning your life around.

Are You Living The Wrong Life?

could be... but people change..

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest:

You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth.

At Your Lowest:

You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked.

In Love:

You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve.

How You're Attractive:

You are very affectionate and inspire trust.

Your Eternal Question:

"Am I Respected?"

What's Your Power Color?

I dun believe it

Your Hidden Talent

You're super sensitive and easily able to understand situations.
You tend to solve complex problems in a flash, without needing a lot of facts.
Decision making is easy for you. You have killer intuition.
The right path is always clear, and you're a bit of a visionary.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

DESPERATE

2007-07-25T13:11:00.000+08:00

we students of MFI are really really really really on tight budgets

so we

cut our own hairs.

haih

2007-07-25T12:43:00.001+08:00

ah bullshit to my previous post, halfway posting got cut off, the continued back on the post.. I forgot what the heck what was I was going to blog about.

anyway for all time i've been gone, I forgot to tell you guys what the hell am I doing here.

well my course is called Automated System and Maintenance Technology or ASMT for short

the weird thing is that... its not mechanical engineering, not even electrical & electronic engineering...

it is just goddamn both courses enrolled into one..

other than that, there is also business added to it.

well can't say much bout it yet. Got assignments to finish.

will maybe update

stress?

2007-07-22T10:50:00.000+08:00

At times I feel like breaking apart..

I feel as if I'm living in a dream, not knowing whether I'm alive or not..

I can say my heart is an empty hollow shell.

I hate it when I'm like this. IT SUCKS.

hate it when I can't get over things

hate it when I must lie to myself.

believing in things that are not even true, just a fabrication in my mind, over shading the truth.

the pain I felt

was not enough

it was never enough

not enough to move on.

times of being happy are never everlasting.

just short.

its not that stressful yet but to overcome it when it happens

so my solution to stress..

are not those pack of cigarettes up above there.

random

2007-07-20T10:33:00.000+08:00

Your EQ is 153

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

व्त्फ?

2007-07-02T20:50:00.000+08:00

Smart, adaptable, you're able to insinuate yourself into any setting and act like you were born there. Sure, sincerity and honesty aren't your strong points, but you can fake them if the need arises. You might feel a little hollow inside, but with so many friends, who cares?
What's your malfunction?

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are quite expressive and thoughtful. You see the world in a way that others are blind to.

You are a very grounded, responsible, and realistic person. People may not want to hear the truth from you, but they're going to get it.

You believe that people see you as a bit small and insignificant. People pay more attention to you than you think.

Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

You Are An ESFP

The Performer

You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.
A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.
You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.
You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.

In love, you are a smooth talker and incorrigible flirt.
While you get into relationships easily, you don't tend to stick around when times get tough.

At work, you do well in groups. You keep everyone laughing through difficult tasks.
You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

How you see yourself: Capable, fair, and efficient

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Incompetent, stubborn, and silly

What's Your Personality Type?

You Are Somewhat Mature

You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart.
While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later.

Are You Immature?

You Are 56% Nerdy

You may be a bit surprised with this score, but your more of a closet nerd than an actual nerd.
Stop denying your inner nerd! You're truly dorkier than you think.

How Nerdy Are You?

You Are 70% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right?
But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISTP)

Your personality type is reserved, methodical, spirited, and intense.

Only about 6% of all people have your personality, including 3% of all women and 8% of all men
You are Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

GOODBYE

2007-07-02T12:13:00.000+08:00

to be honest

I

REALLY

REALLY

REALLY

HATE

SAYING

goodbye

I suck at it.

and for leaving without notice

I'm sorry

so

to everyone who I got to know this past few years, months, weeks, days or so.

I'd say

goodbye

to you.

because

by the end of this week

this Friday

I'll be gone

you'll probably won't hear a word from me in about 5 years or so or perhaps permanently.

so

I decided to blog again

to keep in touch with you guys

and also

this blog would act as a memento

when I am no longer

breathing.