State of mind

It's been a while since I ever touched this place.

It sure has quite a collection of dirt on it.

To cut things short, I'm actually still pissed at my parents' objections on my request for furthering my studies to Singapore.

 

I still haven't even found a good reason to forgive them.

I'm not even sure that I ever will.

 

Just recently I've been contacted by some other people for some uni offers.
They offered me a degree by under some sort group; okay the thing is the mentioning of an opportunity to further studies just really burns my ear off. Really it does, it really burns my heart even by the sight of it. I tried to reject politely the operator for the offer, but all I really wanted to say "Hey Mother Fucker, Fuck Off and don't ever contact me again". I'm just enraged by the remembrance of a chance for furthering my studies. To top things off, my mom tried to get in touch with me by saying "have you planned out your future?" That sentence alone pissed me off like hellfire. I replied her with my sharp tongue and heck I never cared if I hurt her feelings. I had to make it clear that it piss's me off. I already had planned out my future but thanks to dad who secretly applied my name to this uni that I'm currently in and what's more, he tied my name with a loan to this uni. I am never ever given a chance to lead my life, heck am I fucking in control of it? He cornered me with no fucking choice; this is outrage for all I care. Even though you would say my score is quite good since these couple of semesters, but it is all just because, I don't have a choice. I can't leave because I have a loan tied to my name and mom says don't leave to protect my fathers' name. Oh fucking hell, what the fuck can I do? I really dislike the state of my uni, it's supposed to have an international status quo but why the hell are they saying words in malay? It's stated in the contract, that all classes will be conducted in English and the question papers are in English. How do you expect me to compromise with that, and fuck that they're also cheating the international students they don't know a thing in malay.

I'm not sure if I want to continue this on, 'cause it's robbing me off of my sleep which I really need 'cause I'll be driving back to KL later.