the darkness ahead of me

as I grow older

I

become more, and more darker

as in character

or is it that I have become too mature at my age

i'm 17 going to turn 18 soon

but I don't even act my age

i'm seen as someone 3X more older than me

if I lie that i'm 25, I possibly could get away with it

influence of SEX, DRUGS, DUST, POWER, WOMEN, SATAN, ETC.

and my rage is kinda getting out of hand

like the saying

"orang muda berdarah panas"

hot-blood

I am trying my best to control myself

certain things that I do

is really destroying my life

I guess this part doesn't make sense

I do know that I do have bugis bloodline, which is a pirate clan, for example the pirates of the caribbean,

and they are also known for their savageness

i'm not sure it has anything to do with my rising temper

could be but not full-proof

what's more, just recently found out that my grandfather and his siblings..

really did practice certain pirate magic

but i'm not sure what medium they used

I remember being told it was locked in chest somewhere.

It was used for invulnerability/"kebal" or something else

I remember one of my relatives being in crash and survived without a scratch

but when it came for his time to go

he couldn't pass away at ease

the counter back of practicing certain magic

you need a successor to pass it onto..

perhaps i'm cursed by that magic.

the thing will might find me as a host.

lol

well the savior at hand is myself, my faith and my religion.