your hapiness comes first

this post was origionally meant for the 1st of November 2007

I convey these thoughts of mine

to this woman

I am sorry that I am being really shelfish to you

but I can't seem to accept you

as a

friend

any more

because I love you

too much

and

I can't seem to let you go..

I can't seem to find a reason to hate

nor can I forget thee


if i see you

hear you

touch you

it'll only increase my hunger

of missing you

desiring you


I can never

have thee

for my keeping


these past few years

I denied what my feelings really meant

uncertain

from what was my hardened heart

desiring for


only when that short gap of time

of your absence in my life

I worry about you

think about you

I missed you

I began to see

my desire for thee


I was uncertain

why I began to be drawn

towards thee

was it because

time was running out


on me?

I feel angry at myself

for not doing so

earlier in the years

where I had the chance

to see thee

everyday


but

there is no use

time that is gone

can never return


neither can I now

I have the path

where I will never

see the daylight

of your eyes


never to see

never to hear

never to feel

such

emotions

expressions

feellings

that fill thee with life

I wish to see thee

ageing beside

me

together

living this life



my love for thee is blind

nor can I make it appear to your heart

cintaku hanya bertepuk sebelah bahu sahaja

ku tak dapat lepaskan dikau

ku mesti lenyap dari hidupmu

ku tidak rela